One of the common triggers of extreme clutter is the death of parents and “inheriting” their “stuff”. Often deaths on both sides of a married couple’s family occur so close together that the couple hasn’t had time to deal with the first wave of belongings before another hits.
Ideally, we will incorporate those belongings we can use and find beautiful. We want to appreciate and care for those items our parents treasured out of a respect for them.
In generations past, this handing down of possessions was welcome, and the treasures were important pieces of family history. However, with the expanding economy following WWII and consumerism of recent years, the “boomer burden” of dealing with parent’s “stuff” is truly that – a heavy, heavy burden.
So what can you do to stop the cycle?
If you are a parent of grown children, start now to downsize your possessions. Start with a room you do not use for everyday living and clear it out. Then use that room as a staging area for sorting, deciding what to keep or let go, and to designate who will receive the gifts/donations.
If you are the child who has received your parents’ things, you have a harder battle. Of course you will want to keep some of the more important pieces in the family: paintings, family histories, photos, and vintage furniture pieces.
Remember, you are not obligated to keep that “thing” that your mother or Great Aunt Agatha thought was so special.
Whether you are parent or child, these are some questions you can ask to help you determine if an item is a “keeper “or should go:
- Is this item “moving van worthy”? If you were packing up your house tomorrow for a cross-country move, would you pay for the additional weight to transport it to your new home?
- If you never saw it again, would you care?
- Is keeping this thing and others like it worth the emotional struggle and overwhelm you feel on a daily basis?
- Are you keeping things that bring to mind negative memories?
- If this is part of a true collection, where and how do you plan to display it?
- Does this item have historical value outside your immediate family? Would you like others to share in that history?
Applying the Pareto Principle to your (your parents’) belongings: 20% of the entire lot hold 80% of the value -are useful, loved, or are an essential part of your family history. Start now to make decisions about what to do to eliminate the other 80% of the “stuff”!!